Obtaining Cliché Status!

I am sure you have heard the old cliche about the guy who gets a divorce from his wife, sells his house and all his possessions and then takes off on a trip around the world to find himself? Well, I always thought that was a stupid idea! The wanderlust part of me always thought it was kind of cool, but the practical part of me thought it was absolutely ridiculous. Who gives up their life, their possessions, their job, their business to set out around the world to find themselves because wherever you go there you are. So just deal with it!

Well I have become that cliche!

The Cliché

Due to a dissolving marriage caused by lies, cheating, manipulation, and resentment, my wife and I decided to divorce each other after nine years together and five years of marriage. A very stormy relationship filled with passion and anger and arguing and love. Our views on marriage were just too different, and so what at first was two people trying to figure out how to hang onto each other became two people who were tired of the battles until it became two people who just didn’t care anymore. Like most guys, I hung on longer than my wife did. It has been my experience that when a woman tells you that she’s no longer in love with you, that’s the end and she’s not coming back. Guys tend to hang on longer and rehash the relationship over and over again to find out where it went wrong or what they did wrong or how they can put it back together or will she come back, and the answer is always no. So I found myself still hanging on and waiting for my wife to come back even though she had already found another lover and had moved on with her life. Unfortunately, she never told me that. She kept telling me that she was still just licking her wounds and staying at home to avoid the pandemic and working extremely hard at her job as a film translator. We had decided to blocked each other on social media to save conflicts and hurt feelings, yet one day a good mutual friend showed me her Facebook page and it was filled with references to her new boyfriend and the exciting new life they were leading. So what had started out as an amiable divorce proceeding that we did ourselves quickly dissolved into anger and accusations that ended up with us both ending all communication with each other.

So much stuff to get rid of

The result of which was a deep depression that was helped along by the COVID-19 restrictions in Los Angeles which took me a long time to work my way out from. Then one day I woke up and knew it was time to get out of here. I’ve lived in my home for 20 years. It has taken care of me, provided for me, created a business for me, and for much of my adult life as it was the first thing I had ever owned it defined me to a degree. It’s a large arts and craft house located in a historic neighborhood in Los Angeles and I have lived there with great pride as I have tried to restore this home over 20 years. In many ways I thought I would always be there till the end of my life. Yet with the dissolution of my marriage I realized that the City of Los Angeles a place that I’ve lived in for almost 40 years had suddenly seem to become two blocks wide and one block deep. That all my neighbors seemed to know more about me than I did. I felt like I had become a social pariah and that nobody wanted to talk to me or be my friend. Of course that was not true but everything in my house and everything in Los Angeles had become an emotional trigger for me that made me recall my wife and our failed relationship.

The stuff that is going with me.

So one morning I woke up and I became the cliché. The feeling became so strong then I could literally not sit still. I became the man who is literally getting rid of all of his possessions in an effort to find a new direction and a new life. My destination at least temporarily is an apartment in Atlanta, Georgia where as soon as I arrive and unpack my few possessions, I will probably jump on a plane and go to the Caribbean for two months to work on a suntan, lick my wounds and drink my share of umbrella drinks.

One of these is mine!

Yet, trying to sell your house and get rid of all your possessions takes a little bit more time than you might think. I was thinking that I might be able to accomplish this in just a few weeks. Yet this odyssey has been now going on for three plus months. My house is 116-year-old, and while wonderful does need a few upgrades. It’s a hot market and it’s a hot property but there’s a lot of stuff to get rid of, there were things that my realtor wanted me to deal with before he would put it on the market, and I had to deal with a tenant problem. I have a guest house in the back and a tenant that I needed to move out yet because of the COVID-19 rent restrictions and California’s tenant relocation laws, I had to pay this man several hundred dollars to leave because it’s not his fault that my life has imploded. There is a sum that I’m legally required to pay him, yet he wanted to hold me up for much more money because of the COVID-19 eviction restrictions so this caused a logjam. My realtor wanted me to spend hundreds of dollars on fixing up certain parts of my house which I knew the next owner is just going to come in and rip out, so we came to an understanding. And trying to find a reputable estate sale company took some time but we’re almost there. The few repairs start in just a couple of days, the tenant will be leaving by the middle of the month and the estate sale is next week, so progress is made. If all goes well, I’ll be out of here in a month saying goodbye to LA and headed to my next adventure wherever that may be, Atlanta or beyond.

The packing never ends.

This will be a little bit of an ongoing series that every once in a while, I’ll drop in a new story about my wanderings as I transitioned from one life to another. I hope you enjoy the ride and thanks for continuing to be part of my blog.

Whale Sharks @ The Georgia Aquarium

The Amazing Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, GA

A city that I visit frequently is Atlanta, GA, and one of the places that I have never been in Atlanta is their world-famous Georgia Aquarium. So one winter afternoon I walked over from my Airbnb condo in mid-town Atlanta to this amazing complex and was absolutely enthralled with how it is set up, the size of their main aquarium and the five giant whale sharks that they have swimming around.

Georgia Aquarium is a public aquarium and is home to hundreds of species and thousands of animals across its seven major galleries which contain over 10,000,000 US gallons of water both fresh and saltwater.

The Whale Sharks are a major attraction since they are so rare in captivity. They are members of the shark family, so they’re not mammals like whales. They are a slow-moving filter feeding carpet shark and they do not hunt or eat other fish. They will not attack you. They do eat plankton like whales, so they have that in common along with their size.

They’re not whales but they are the world’s largest fish. These huge creatures can grow up to 40 feet long but despite their size, whale sharks are often referred to as gentle Giants. The largest known whale shark ever recorded came in at around 62 feet long.

And for those of you who are offended by aquariums, these sharks do not do tricks. No creatures in the entire facility do any kind of tricks for humans or human audiences. The aquarium is an observation and study space for all creatures both freshwater and saltwater. Whale sharks are not well known as they keep to themselves and are usually solitary. These five make up the most whale sharks in one place anywhere in the world that are in an aquarium setting.

The aquarium is not inexpensive to get into. My ticket ran me $39.00 with online service charges because during Covid this is a non cash facility only accepting debit and credit cards. You must buy your tickets in advance and only online.  Tickets may be purchased at this address. https://www.georgiaaquarium.org/tickets/

Parking is another $18.00 per car. However inside they have a full restaurant and bar offering cocktails, wine and many local craft beers from the Atlanta area. They have a petting area where children and adults can touch and feel the texture of starfish and various other sea creatures. They have albino alligators; they have flesh eating piranha from the Amazon River, they have fish and sea snakes and sea eels from all around the world plus they also have a freshwater section for fish that you would find in streams in North America. Of all the aquariums that I have visited including Long Beach, CA’s Aquarium of the Sea this is by far the most extensive and largest aquarium facility I have ever seen.

They also have an extensive collection of Penguins from various parts of the world and they are considered one of the best facilities for rescue and treating injured and orphaned fish and sea mammals in the world. Oddly enough, they are considered the top rehabilitation facility for rescued orphan and injured California sea otters.

An as an added bonus for $350.00 you can go scuba diving in the main aquarium area with an experienced diver as your guide. There are no sharks in this particular tank although they do have a very extensive Shark Tank filled with nurse sharks, hammerhead sharks, and tiger sharks. All of these are deadly predators.

This is one fun day to spend with the fishes! This is something that the whole family can enjoy or a couple looking for something different to do on a romantic outing or just a solo trip by yourself to enjoy the amazing Georgia Aquarium.

The aquarium is located at 225 Baker St NW Atlanta GA 30313. Phone number is 404-581-4000. Website is www.georgiaaquarium.org.

Drive Across America – Day 5 – 7, Abilene to Atlanta

One of my grand plans before I left to drive across the country was to stop everyday to see something interesting, take a hike, or visit some place I haven’t been before – but after driving four days non-stop across the United States (of course only 300 miles a day) I was anxious to get to my final destination, Atlanta. So Days 5 and 6, I really didn’t stop, I just drove.

Abilene, Texas was a nice town. The night I arrived I wanted to get some something to eat in a nice restaurant and I found a nice place using Yelp. The bartender recommended a pub near the local college to check out, and I ended up in a few games of friendly pool with some locals who were very nice. Abilene is actually considered a very good place to visit and live – this link will tell you a lot about Abilene history and livability – https://livability.com/tx/abilene . But overall Abilene did not leave much of an impression on me. I was only there for a night and my apologies to anyone who reads this who is from Abilene but I just decided to move on down the road.

Cisco, TX Photo J.Carey

But as I was headed east on Interstate 20 I did come to an interesting little town called Cisco, TX. Cisco seems to be surrounded by a lot of trees which was different after 4 days of driving across desert and flatland. That was because of Lake Cisco, a man-made lake created in the 1920’s.

Conrad,Hilton Photo J.Carey

One of Cisco’s claims to fame is that Conrad Hilton, the founder of the Hilton Hotel chain bought and operated his first hotel in Cisco. The story goes that Hilton came to Cisco to buy a bank, but the bank cost too much, so he purchased the Mobley Hotel in 1919. The hotel is now a local museum and community center. The hotel had about 40 rooms and did a very brisk business right from the start as this occurred during the beginning of the Texas oil boom. It’s now on the National Historic Register, and right next to the community center is a little park called the Conrad Hilton Park with a small statue of him there.

Photo J.Carey

The rest of the drive that day is kind of a blur as to what happened because the entire focus of the trip was now just trying to get out of Texas and across as much of Louisiana as I could make in my 300 mile radius. I spent the night in Greenwood, Louisiana.

One last comment about Texas before I move on. What is it in Texas with the super high transition ramps to other freeways? They’re in every city no matter how small or how large, and they just keep going higher and higher and higher. Other states have them as well but Texas seems to have a real proclivity for building these structures. As I drove across the country along the southern route, Texas by far had more of them than any other place I’ve ever seen. Fort Worth has so many freeways crossing and re-crossing each other that the confusion of roads and bridges and transition roads is called the “Mixmaster.”

The Mixmaster, Fort Worth

Day 6 was just spent driving I-20 through Shreveport, Louisiana on to the Mississippi River. I crossed the river at Vicksburg, MS. This is the site of a huge battle during the Civil War between the North and the South. The North had been trying to take Vicksburg, a major port city for the Confederates on the Mississippi for months. Every time they were rebuffed by the Southern soldiers. Finally Lincoln placed a relatively unknown general in charge of the effort, U.S. Grant. Grant laid siege to the city for 45 days cutting off all food and water. The Southern command finally surrendered, and the victory turned Grant into a Northern national hero.

Entrance to Vicksburg Military Park Photo J.Carey

The Vicksburg National Military Park is here that you can drive through and see almost the entire battlefield. Even places where people currently live and own homes are included in the National Monument. It is really quite moving when you consider the sheer amount of death and destruction because the weapons of war had far outstripped the stratagems that were used to guide men into battle. Although the sheer amount of information about who was fighting at what position on the battlefield, and who did what, and who died here after a while becomes overwhelming.

Real cannon used in the war, and actively shot each day in a mock battle. Photo J.Carey

Here I have a a comment about growing up in the South. I’m of a certain age when the people of the South still talked about the War of Northern Aggression. Every little boy that I know including myself grew up pretending to be a Confederate soldier fighting against the Yankee intruders. Thank God that is all changed to a large degree. I don’t think many little boys grow up anymore wanting to pretend fight the most deadly war that the United States has ever fought which based on slavery, and that we fought against each other. What the southern states in the late 1800’s did to hang on to some integrity after losing the Civil War was to put memorial plaques up everywhere that something happened during the Civil War. And they’re literally thousands of them in every state. Starting at Louisiana and continuing on into Mississippi and Alabama and Georgia, thousands of Civil War historical markers everywhere covering everything from houses to where people slept, to where battles were fought, to where it seems like famous people took a crap. They are every where.

True family story – My mother used to like to read the markers and often complained to my father when he was driving that he would not stop and let her read them. So once on a trip to Mississippi after her constant complaining, my father began to stop at every maker and read them out loud in their entirety. After 10 miles of this history lesson, my mother gave in and never complained about reading the historical makers again.

I spent the night in Meridian, Mississippi.

Waking up the next day, I headed straight toward Atlanta through Birmingham on Interstate 20. As I drove further and further east that day my anxiety over why I was taking this trip and what I hoped to accomplish in Atlanta grew. Why had I driven 2400 miles to another city to prove what? To whom and why? Plus driving for 7 straight days with huge bridges, big trucks, crazy drivers, and the endless boredom of just looking at scenery pass by made me a nervous wreck the further I drove.

Yet I could also reflect on the amazing size of our country and the constant changes in scenery and climate. I started on the Pacific Ocean through the changing scenery of California, Arizona, New Mexico to the Flat Lands of Texas. Than in East Texas things start to change with trees, and the drive just gets Greener and Greener and Greener as the humidity soars, and plants and trees start to take over everywhere. I travel back to the South often but I am always amazed at how green it is and how many trees there are.

The maze of roads around Atlanta! Map by TRIPinfo.com

I finally got to Atlanta about three in the afternoon. I had chosen to stay for the first few days near my nephew Justin and his family who live in Woodstock , GA about 27 miles outside of downtown Atlanta. I had rented an Airbnb just a couple of miles from his home. Yet, in my exhausted and anxiety ridden state, I just could not handle driving on Atlanta’s infamous I- 285 Perimeter which is like a racecourse with too much traffic and huge trucks and Atlanta’s very aggressive drivers all doing 10 miles per hours over the speed limit. So I choose to take smaller state highways around to Woodstock, but that gave me the opportunity to understand how much Atlanta and the surrounding area had grown through the years. What had been open country and small towns was now malls, housing developments and apartment/condo complexes. Rows of them in all directions.

Downtown Woodstock, GA Photo – visitingwoodstockga.com

Arriving at my AirBnb, I unpacked my car and set up my temporary quarters. While worried, I was also very excited to see what the next two months would hold for me as I began my adventure in Atlanta. Performing and seeing what opportunities either in show business or real estate existed here, and the chance to really start to understand the city that I’ve passed through so many times during my life but have never stayed for more than a week at a time. After 7 long tiring days, The Grand Adventure was about to begin.

unique car decorations, Woodstock, GA photo – J. Carey

Drive Across America – Day 1 – Yuma, Arizona

On Wednesday, May 22, I left Los Angeles (Santa Monica to be specific) to start a 2000 plus mile journey across the country to perform my one man show – Mi Casa Su Casa – at the Atlanta Fringe Festival. This would be my 7th driving trip across the country, but the first one I had taken in 25 years.

Postcard for Mi Casa Su Casa – Atlanta Fringe Festival 2019

The reasons for the trip were numerous – some professional and some very personal – but the end result was that I was leaving my home of 19 years to see if life in another city was something to consider. I was moving to Atlanta for 2 months to see if this was the next phase of the adventure.

I had left the South 40 years before for various political and personal reasons. It was the tail end of the Civil Rights era, but the rampant racism that still existed in the places that I lived plus the desire to pursue a professional life in the entertainment business made the move to New York and eventually Los Angeles the correct decision for me at that time.

Yet, I often returned to visit family and friends, and even worked there at times. The South and the style of living there was never far from my mind, but I was convinced that I could not live there again. However, Life marches on unrelenting. The film business came to Georgia in a huge way and to such a large degree that there is now more film production work in Atlanta then in Los Angeles.

I had/have an extremely good life in LA. I own a large home that has become a very popular Airbnb destination. I have the ability to direct theatre and film projects that are only limited by my desire to create them. I have many wonderful friends and a strong support system that I can call on when I need too.

Yet I felt stuck. Stuck in my own life. No one is to blame for this but me. But stuck is not a great place to be for anyone. I was bored with myself and felt I was repeating the same things over and over again. And at my age, there was not alot of time to lose by repeating myself.

So I decided to shake things up by moving to Atlanta to pursue an idea. And I would going to use the invitation to perform at the Atlanta Fringe Festival as the opening gambit in this journey of self rediscovery.

Historic Old Yuma

I said farewell to my partner and headed south to San Diego using I-405 to I-5 and into San Diego. I had traveled this way a few months before and had ended up in Yuma, Arizona. I grew to like Yuma a lot and so for the first stop on my cross country journey that is where I decided to land.

Colorado River outside of Yuma.

Taking I-8 out of San Diego, I was finally head straight East. This short interstate highway runs through some amazing country. About 40 miles out of San Diego, you have climbed to over 4000 feet while passing Native American Nations one after another. You pass through countryside that seems like you are riding through the old West expecting an outlaw to jump out from behind the nearest boulder and rob you. Then you drop down to pure desert. Slowly as you drive toward the Colorado River, the land begins to take on the color of green and you enter one of the biggest agriculture sections of the US. All the while you are driving within just a few miles of the Mexico/USA border.

New Fence right next to the old!
Road running along the fence line.

I stopped at a little town called Jacumba Hot Springs where the main attraction is a small hotel/resort called The Jacumba Spa. But literally less than a football field away is the border fence. I drive down to the fence where you could see the new fence and the old fence side by side. And where on our side is a dirt road to patrol the fence. On the Mexican side, a rancher uses the fence to tie up his horses while they graze. Plus more than two miles down the new fence line, it stops completely. Anyone any time of day can just walk around the fence into another country. There is no camera, no fence, no sign saying stop, no nothing.

Horse tied off to the border fence.
The wall ends two miles from this point.

I drove on to Yuma and spent the night. I also took the opportunity to visit a few places that night and the next day before I pushed on. Night spots that I had found the first time I was there, and some historically interesting places that have factored in the history of the West and the USA. Yuma is historically interesting because of its place in settling the West. With one of the few safe crossings on the wild Colorado River of the late 1700’s, the Spanish used Yuma to settle San Francisco and Los Angeles and build the missions along the California coast. It at one time was a important rail head for cattle. The Arizona Territorial Prison (referred to in the film, 3:10 to Yuma) was famous for the criminals jailed there and treatment of its prisoners. Finally, while Yuma is now slower and more off the beaten track, it is still a very popular destination for senior folk looking for a quiet, mild winter and is home to some of the largest agri-businesses in the US. There is a lovely historic downtown area with a couple of excellent art musuems, and there is great access to the Colorado River for swimming, boating and fishing.

Arizona Territorial Prision inspiration for the film 3:10 To Yuma.

Photos of these various historic places in and around Yuma will follow in a photo gallery. Look out for it. Thanks.

NEXT STOP: Somewhere in Arizona

Asking for Directions Georgia Style – Georgia

I am returning to Georgia again. This is an annual pilgrimage to see family and friends and to get in touch with my roots. I enjoy traveling in the South. It seems like a slower pace of life, people tend to really listen and be interested in what you say, and there is a genuine concern about you as a person. That is not always true, but that is how is seems. Returning to my home region also reminds me why I no longer live there. I will not mention the reasons but it helps put my current life in perspective. Yet, to be honest, the reasons (even in the time of Trump) to not be there are less and less, and the pull to be with my family members on a more constant basis is strong. Very strong.

I took the red-eye from LA to Atlanta on American Airlines. Good basic flight in 3 hours and forty-five minutes. Got charged $25 to check one bag (? Really?), then asked if I wanted to move seats to the exit row that would another $45 or to get on board first for another $32. Traveling on US based airline is like paying to be treated like crap. They say that they need to do this to be competitive. And I know that national airlines in parts of the world are under written by their individual governments sometimes, but could US based airlines just find a nicer and better way to treat us – the paying customer – like we were not sardines in a can?

Landed at Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta which I am always amazed at how busy and how well managed it is. I had decided to rent a car from Sixt, but instead of paying the extra 10% surcharge at the airport, I opted to ride the subway into mid-town and get the car at a mid-town location for about $50 cheaper. I have ridden the MARTA trains (Atlanta’s train and bus system) only a couple of time in Atlanta, but again I am impressed about how efficient it is. I live in Los Angeles and even though we are considered the second or third largest city in the USA, we are just starting to build our transportation infrastructure. There is not even a train that runs to the airport, and not to have a train that goes to the airport is ridiculous. There are 3rd world countries in Africa and South America that manage that feat, but not LA.

I came out for the subway at the North Ave station in Mid-town Atlanta and only had to walk a couple of blocks to find the rental agency. However, I had left my phone in my car in LA, so I was depending on the kindness of strangers for correct GPS directions. The first gentleman sent me 4 blocks in the wrong direction but I got turned around and headed correctly. I located the SIXT mid-town office in the bowels of the Georgian Terrace Hotel although a sign would be nice. There is no indication anywhere on the building or inside the building to let you know that a car rental office even exists here.

My next task was to locate a T-Mobil phone company office to get a temporary phone. I located one near I-85 in Union City as I head south out of Atlanta to my first stop in Bainbridge, GA., to see my old friend for college, Pamela. When I found the office, it was 8:45 AM and the office did not open until 10 AM. There was someone in the store, but they would not let me buy a phone until the store officially opened. While I was standing in the parking lot trying to figure out what to do for the next hour, the manager Michael Smith invited me in and got me taken care of in about 15 minutes. I am very thankful to him for his great and very kind service to me in a time of great need.

Now Bainbridge is in the south-west corner of Georgia just above Tallahassee, FL. The best and most direct way to Bainbridge is take I-85 south toward Birmingham, then I-185 to Columbus, GA., and then after that to take Georgia  27 and 520 further south after Columbus. Highways 520 and 27 run together for about 50 miles and then they split, and you should follow 27 at that point. The whole journey should take about four and half hours. I still had not taken the time to make sure my GPS was working correctly plus I was driving in the middle of a torrential late-Spring rain storm where I could not see 5 feet in front of me sometimes. Long and short of it, I missed the turnoff for GA 27 and continued along 520.

When I realized that I was off course, I stopped at a rather large convenience store dressed up to look like a back-country store with fake barrels everywhere, and rocking chairs placed along the long veranda on the front of the store. After buying some supplies for the road, I asked the woman behind the counter how to find a connecting road to 27. She pointed to an old farmer type guy on the veranda, and said to ask him because he knew all the roads in the area. I grew up in this part of the world so to see a man wearing overalls, chewing tobacco, and standing around to wait for the rain to stop in the middle of the day is very normal to me. However, I was not quite ready for the dramatic effect that this particular encounter would involve.

What follows is the exact conversation (with spitting included).

Me – “Excuse me, sir. The lady inside said that you might help me get back over to 27. I am head to Bainbridge and missed the turnoff a’ways back. I saw Highway 45 cuts across to there. Can you tell me how far to the turnoff for 45?”

Him – (Spits)“You going to Bainbridge?” (Spits).

I should also explain at this point to anyone not familiar with the practice of spitting tobacco that you usually carry a cup with you to spit into at least while in public places. Not this gentleman. Right on the sidewalk in large brown spatters of brown juice.

Me – “Yes sir.”

Him – (Spits) “You don’t want to go that way.” (He spits and points towards the way I had come) “You want to go back up there to 41 and turn right.” (Spits)

Me – “Well, 27 is in that direction.” (Pointing west which is the opposite direction.)

Him –  (Spits) “Oh that 27. (Spits again) Then you want to turn left. (Spits again) If you go down to 45 that will take you more out of the way. So go back to 41. (Spits) You follow that for six, seven, maybe eight miles and you will come to this sharp curve to the left, real sharp. (Spits) In the middle of the curve, you will find a road to the right. Take that road. Chain Gang Road. Led you right to 27. (Spits)

Me – “Back to 41, turn left, look for the sharp curve to the left and take the road to the right. That correct?”

Him – (Spits) “Yep. Go seven, maybe eight. I think it is seven miles, but it could be eight. And take that curve. (Spits) It is really sharp to the left, I mean real sharp and you will see the road off to the right. Don’t miss that one cause it goes right to 27.” (Spits)

Me – “Well, thank you sir. I appreciate it.” I start to walk to the car, but the rain in unrelenting.

Him – (Spits) “Yeah you want to take that 41.” He spits again and the entire conversation repeats again. He would repeat the same information while spitting two more whole times as I tried to avoid the tobacco juice. Finally I could escape to the car and I made a beeline. As I sat in the car with no good option, I was unsure of what to do. I still did not know where 45 crossed my highway or I could follow the back-wood directions of my new friend.

I opted for the back-wood direction. Nothing was as he claimed, but I am blessed with a decent sense of direction, and I knew where south and west were so eventually I found highway 27 and followed it to Bainbridge in time for lunch.

 

 

10 day Georgia/North Carolina trip – In Progress – Atlanta, GA

In Atlanta this morning for a 10 day trip around Georgia and North Carolina. Stay tuned for new stories and blogs.

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